"She's here Mom, and she already knows."

Rowan and I had to miss my Mom's funeral back home in Ohio today, since Rowan is still in the intensive care unit at Seattle Children's Hospital in Washington. Brian, Zoe and Ian did make the trip from Texas to Ohio, and were able to be there with the rest of my family.  It was so hard not being there, but Brian and my sister Jennifer made sure to send me photos throughout the day, so I could feel like I was there.  It looked like a truly beautiful service, which is only fitting, since it honored such a beautiful life.  They are sending me video footage of the service, but for now...these photos meant the world to me today.

The service was held at Conroy Funeral Home. It rained for a bit, which by my recollection, it has done in Springfield for every single funeral I ever attended as a child or an adult.

Zoe, Olivia and Veronica, along with my sisters, compiled these breathtaking photo boards commemorating a life well lived.  Zoe free-handed the titles just beautifully.

The whole family was present in this picture...minus Rowan and I, and the 6 great grand children.

Here is the room, filling up, with family, friends, and coworkers, all there to pay their respects.

Everyone said that the pastor did a beautiful job.

Since we couldn't be there ourselves, Rowan and I wrote eulogies of our own.  They started out by us talking about my Mom with a creative writer from the hospital, last week...on the day my Mother died.  Rowan and I continued to reminisce about Mom/Grandma Debbie the rest of Thanksgiving weekend, and eventually wrote these individual pieces...which were read during her service today.

This is certainly one of the most difficult days of my life.  I wasn't just far from my family and lifelong friends, I missed my own mother's funeral...it's as hard to type as it was to comprehend.  Rowan and I were busy all day, with meds, therapies, pumps, alarms, etc.  And the staff here tried their best to comfort and console us, as well as distract us with laughter or song when they could.

But, the best part of the day, was when Rowan was enjoying a change of scenery again.  The nurses, PT/OT and I moved him to the couch by the window, so he could have some time out of his hospital bed.  He said he wanted to take a nap, so I told him, "If you dream of my Mom, tell her I love her and I'm sorry I'm not there today."

Rowan smiled and told me, "She's here Mom, and she already knows."  He woke up a little bit later and smiled and waved up towards the ceiling, saying that he saw my Mom and his friends in heaven.  Then he fell back asleep and slept peacefully for over an hour.

His peaceful grin is a pretty good picture of the peace I then felt on the inside myself after this conversation.

Thank you Rowan.

Thank you God.

Thank you to my entire family for putting together such a special viewing and service for our Mom, Grandma, Great Grandma.

Thank you to all her friends, coworkers, congregation members, etc. who came to honor her today.

Thank you Mom...for ever, for always, for everything!