Signs from Rowan in unexpected places... even the 2018 Culinaria Food and Wine Fest!

Some of you may know that Rowan dreamed of being a Chef one day.  He couldn't eat much at all (most of his food came from g-tube or iv), but he had an incredible sense of smell, and created some fabulous recipes that only we could enjoy.  He wasn't sad that he couldn't try them himself, he was just so joyful that he could make the dishes for us. When he was 8 years old, he had a bucket list item come true...he got to host a cooking demo with another Chef, Jeff Bridges, at the Culinaria Event at La Cantera Resort in San Antonio.  Rowan was ecstatic! He wore his blue chef coat, his white chef hat, and gloves, and the crowd gathered as he and Jeff made both sweet and savory versions of Takoyaki (octopus fritters).  Rowan told octopus jokes throughout their entire demo...it was priceless!  The Culinary Institute of America in San Antonio at the Pearl, sent Rowan a certificate for culinary school while he was undergoing transplant in Seattle a few months later.  He couldn't wait to come home and become a real chef.  He died before that dream came to fruition.  His recipes live on though, (as do his octopus jokes:), and this year, Culinaria wanted to make sure his memory lived on there too.

We met executives from Culinaria for dinner to discuss ways that his memory could be honored at the event, and were blown away by their thoughtfulness.  Thank you Ginger! Rowan was but a child himself, so hosting a kids corner where the kids could have activities to do sounded perfect.  There was talk of art, cooking, planting, and games.  What actually developed at the event, which took place May 17th-20th, went well beyond that though.  Rowan was there.  His spirit was truly there.  In more ways than one.

I offered to take on the children's arts and crafts portion of the event.  Rowan loved art almost as he loved cooking, so I decided to create food art activities that the children could sit and do with me as their parents enjoyed wine and culinary treats nearby.  It was so much fun, coming up with the projects, combining food and art.  I knew Rowan would have loved to do these projects with me (some of them we had done), so I knew I had his stamp of approval.  I purchased sticky boards, lentils, pasta, beans, kale, lemons, other fruits and vegetables, and gathered paper, paints, cotton balls, paper plates, tissue paper squares etc. 

I prepared for 200 plus children for the weekend, what I did not prepare for was the overwhelming love and joy I shared with some of these children.  My heart was deeply touched.

I also did not know to what amazing lengths Culinaria had gone to incorporate Rowan's legacy into the event.  When I arrived, they directed me to the area I was to set up in...it was aptly named "Rowan's Corner", as the banner showed. 

To my left was a gardening table, sponsored and manned by an amazing group of folks "Uprooted Gardens".  Nick and Liz Campanella and their team were AMAZING!  It took me a mere hour or so to realize just how big their hearts were, but by the end of the weekend, I knew that their mission, their dedication, and their love for all things green has so much to offer us all.  And just look at what they did for Rowan... priceless.

We became friends as we worked together, side by side, that weekend.  We shared lots of laughs and even some tears as I told some special Rowan stories.  They helped the kids at my table when it got too busy, I handed them paper towels when they had plants spill over, they helped tape my table cloths down when the wind picked up...Rowan would have been so proud...he would have loved them all (and definitely would have flirted with all the pretty girls:).

There were lawn games set up, and a daily cooking demo for kids to participate in, following the instructions of Chef Brian West.  I had bubbles for the children.  Rowan's Corner was jumping with excitement, especially on Sunday.  I didn't stop for a moment all day.  Our tables were full of children, laughing, painting, making mosaics, planting, blowing bubbles, eating, etc. 

Brian was involved, as he has been for years with this event.  He sponsored and hosted multiple wine and liquor tables.  I helped him with flower arrangements and decorating his rosé table.  He and his volunteers worked hard all weekend, serving many fine whites, reds, rosés, bourbons and rye whiskey to the adults in the massive crowd.  They were a very popular area as well:)

Several extra special things happened at the event too...
signs...
proof that Rowan was indeed there with us. 

It got very windy that weekend.  As a matter of fact it was stormy and raining all around our vicinity, but the rain held off at La Cantera until the event closed.  The wind however, was in full force.  It was difficult at times to keep everything on the tables.  At one point, something blew off Uprooted Gardens table and brushed past me.  I quickly stepped on it with my foot to prevent it from going further, then I bent down to pick it up.  As I started to hand it to Liz, I glanced at it...it was Rowan's pictures staring back at me. 

We both just looked at each other and got tears in our eyes...we whispered "he's here'.  Later, the same piece of laminated paper, with Rowan's picture on it, flew off their table again (where it was clipped and taped to a board- as seen above), but this time it landed square against me on my chest.  I took a deep breath, pulled it off my chest and smiled as I looked, yep, it was Rowan smiling at me again, and it had landed directly on my heart.  I handed it to Nick, and he and I had the same exchange that Liz and I had earlier, "he's giving you signs"/"it's Rowan".  It happened 3 times in all.  That piece of paper could have flown anywhere around that huge resort, it could have flown away and been lost completely, but instead, it kept coming to me...right to me.  Thank you Rowan.  Thank you Uprooted.  Thank you God.

Another priceless sign came, and while it was an awesome moment in time, I didn't realize it was a sign from Rowan until later in the day.  A very special young man (around Rowan's age) spent a lot of the day with me Sunday.  He must have done a dozen pieces of art.  He came back to the table 5 or 6 times.  He was very quiet at first, and didn't need much of my help.  But with each trip back to my table, he opened up a little bit more, until he was giggling, laughing, telling me what he was naming his pictures, who he was making them for, asking for my help, etc.  By the end of the afternoon, he even became my little helper, helping me get projects started for other children, and peeling the corners of the sticky board for them.  He was precious!  After his final trip to do art with me, he returned and stood in front of me revealing a crisp dollar bill.  I said, "what is that?", and he said "it's for you".  I smiled and told him thank you, but explained that I was sorry but I could not accept money, that it wasn't necessary.  I hugged him and told him to keep it himself, that I enjoyed spending time with him.  He reluctantly went back with the dollar, to his family.  Then his grandmother came over to me and said "You need to take that dollar, he got it from his own wallet! She told me that he had said: she's such a nice lady."  I told her I just couldn't, but that it really blessed my heart, and told her what a great boy he was.  We hugged too. 

I thought that was the end of that story, but it wasn't. A few hours later, Ginger from Culinaria, came to check on me and see how Rowan's Corner was going.  I relayed to her all the great stories of how much fun the kids were having (even some adults:), and then shared the story of Rowan's picture blowing over to me 3 times from the Uprooted Gardens table.  Then I told her about my little friend trying to pay me a dollar. 

*Now Ginger essentially IS the Culinaria Food & Wine Fest (if you ask me), she organizes, orchestrates, orders, sets-up, breaks-down, etc. (of course with the help of a highly trained staff).  But, this is her baby.  She is deeply invested in this cause.  She is the reason that Rowan's name ever was a part of it, and why it still is.

When I told Ginger about the little boy and the dollar, she started to tear up immediately.  She told me that 2 years ago, after his debut cooking demo at the same event she had told Rowan that his demo was so popular, that she wanted him to come back from transplant and help fundraise for Culinaria.  This year, she just wanted to honor his memory, but this was a sign that he remembered, and proof that he was indeed present.  Rowan, through me, through my buddy KJ, was trying to fundraise for Culinaria, for Ginger:). What another sweet, sweet, sign, that her dream was realized, that Rowan was there again this year...if only in spirit.

Thank you to Culinaria and La Cantera Resorts for hosting this event.

Thank you to all of the sponsors, vendors, chefs, volunteers, food, wine, beer and spirits suppliers.

Thank you Ginger & Lance, for keeping our boy's legacy alive, and for all your hard work.

Thank you Uprooted Gardens for your kindness, help, heart and now...friendship!

Thank you KJ, for being such a sweet boy, while reminding me of my own sweet angel.

Thank you Rowan, for teaching me your whole life, to look for the signs...everywhere!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lesson Learned:

Even when the event involves wine, beer, whiskey and food for adults,

you can still cultivate love, fun, art, friendship and joy for kids.

In loving memory of Chef Rowan 
2006-2016

Butterflies, gardens, bubbles, theaters, paintings and tears...just another Keller Williams Red Day!

Rowan was the foreman of one of Keller Williams City View's Red Day service projects in 2015.  He designed and managed the installation of Jalene's Memorial Garden in her families' back yard after she passed away.  He had every detail drawn out exactly as he said she would want it.  It was such a beautiful day, and the garden turned out perfectly!  KW named him "The Best Red Day Foreman Ever", and Jalene's family continues to use that garden to sit and remember their sweet angel.

Last year I was not able to participate, but the KW City View crew installed yet another garden, the first "Rowan Memorial Garden".  This year they did the same, and the second KW Red Day Rowan Memorial Garden was planted in San Antonio at a very special location. 

I'm overcome with emotions tonight, after everything I witnessed and was a part of today.  I will try to get the words down, but I may need to come back tomorrow to edit this post...

First of all, as I've said before, God's timing is perfect, even when you don't realize it at the time.  Today was a great example of that.  I had committed to coming to help the KW City View Team plant this garden, and I had looked forward to it all week.  They also were doing a clean up and painting service project at Woodlawn Theater today, and I said that I would swing by there once the garden was in, even if it was just for a few minutes.  As you know, Rowan LOVED being at Woodlawn.  He was in 6 shows there, and 3 at NESA.

When I woke up this morning, I felt terrible.  I did not know how I was going to make it to San Antonio to help.  I took Ian to school, laid back down and fell asleep, after telling sweet Margie that I didn't know if I would make it after all.  She gently urged me to at least come for a little bit if at all possible.  Around 11 I felt Rowan encouraging me to get out of bed and go help them.  I knew how we would have definitely been there if he were still here on Earth...he just had that way about him...nothing stopped him.  So I decided to go ahead and text Margie and head in.

I am so grateful that I did. 

This year the garden was designed for a very special group of Mom's, and their children.  It was planted at a transitional home for families who have left dangerous situations for a fresh start.  They asked me what they should call it, once it was complete, and I said "The garden of Hope".  It not only honors Rowan's memory, it is a perfect message for these ladies and their children too.

Keller Williams outdid themselves once again, making a nature trail for the children, flag stone paths between the homes, and a wonderfully planned peaceful garden in the middle.  In true Rowan fashion, there were butterfly garden stones, metal butterfly art, brightly colored wind chimes, a bench, and gorgeous native plants and flowers.  (*For privacy purposes, I did not take photos of the grounds.)

Margie asked me to speak to the group of volunteers, so I told them a little about Rowan, his experience as a red Day Foreman and how happy he would be to see them continuing to "Make the Good".  As I started digging a hole for one of the plants, Margie suddenly yelled, "Carrie, get over here!"  I ran to her, knowing that it must be some sort of sign from Rowan...which of course it was. 

A beautiful orange butterfly, fluttering all around us... landing this close to my foot. 

She said she had prayed that Rowan would be with us all today...and he was.  Thank you Rowan!

At the end of the planting, installation and clean up, everyone gathered around the garden and they did the sweetest thing...they all blew bubbles in Rowan's memory. 

It's like he and all of his angel friends were dancing around the garden...it was so beautiful, it brought me to tears.

I only had about an hour left before I had to head back to New Braunfels, so I rushed over to Woodlawn with some of the KW group, to check in on the progress that the other KW team was making there.  Now, as I've mentioned, Woodlawn Theater was one of Rowan's favorite places to spend time outside of the hospital.  I took him every Tuesday night for 3+ hours, for at least 3 years.  He said he felt "like a normal kid" when he was there.  It wasn't uncommon for him to have a bone marrow biopsy, or pass a kidney stone, but still make it to rehearsal the same night...sometimes reciting his lines for his doctors, begging them to let him out so he didn't miss dress rehearsal or a show.  He spent 8 hours at the infusion clinic prior to practice almost every single time.  He was always determined to be the first one "off-book".  He put his jazz pants and dance shoes on hours before it was time to go to practice.  And even from the emergency room or hospital, he was the epitome of "the show must go on"!

Walking in there today was difficult.  They gave me a tour to show me all the areas they had cleaned, painted, remodeled, etc.  I spent so much time in those rooms with Rowan, it was a bit overwhelming to be back there without him.  When we went into the kids dance studio, where they had choreographed and practiced all of their numbers...I started to cry once again. 

It was just so empty, so quiet...

not how I remembered it over 100 times before, when it had been full of kids, full of noise, full of life.

I told Chris Rodriguez (Rowan's Choreographer and Youth Director, now the Executive Director/Artistic Director) that I believed, if Rowan could come back to Earth for just one more day, he would probably either go Big-footing, or he would be back on that stage performing in front of all of his family, friends and fans:)  I mean that too. He LOVED acting, he LOVED Chris, and he LOVED the Woodlawn.

Before I had to leave, they asked everyone to come in to the main stage theater. 

All of the Keller Williams Red Day volunteers, and Chris, went up on the stage.  The curtains were shut, which is not unusual when a show is not going on, so I had no idea what was about to happen. 

Sweet Maggie (KW Realtor and fellow stage Mom...love you Lilly Grace!) started to explain about why the Woodlawn was important to Rowan, and why that made it important to KW too.  Then, they had a sweet young couple come up and start talking. I had no idea what was going on, until the curtains were pulled back and they unveiled a mural they had done of Rowan, that will now hang in the Woodlawn. 

Chris said that every child that walks through their doors to be a part of their youth program (over 800 a year) will know about Rowan, and that his memory will live on at the Woodlawn forever.  I literally fell down.  I'm not kidding.  My knees buckled, and I fell to the ground, bawling crying.  My sweet boy's image will grace that theater that he loved so very, very, much...where he felt like a "normal kid".  I was completely taken aback.  I did not see it coming.  It was such a sweet tribute to my boy, such an honor.

Once I recovered (meaning, once they picked me up off the floor), I was able to go on stage and thank Margie, Maggie, Chris, all the KW Red Day volunteers and especially the Lopez's, for capturing Rowan's spirit in their artwork.

There were so many messages today.  So many signs.  So much Rowan in the air.

Keller Williams City View... Thank you for giving where you live.  Thank you for making the good.  Thank you for continuing to honor Rowan's memory.

Chris Rodriguez and the entire Woodlawn Theater staff... Thank you for giving Rowan more than some normalcy, you gave him confidence, you gave him a dream, you gave him a stage.  Knowing he touched you all too, means the world to me. 

Thank you for not forgetting our little actor... Rowan...

Thank you for not forgetting...

"The Turkey" (Honk Jr.),

"Bun Foo" (Thoroughly Modern Millie Jr.),

"Prince #3: The Prince Formerly Known as the Artist" Aladdin Jr.),

"Peter Pan" (Shrek Jr.),

"Michael Darling" (Peter Pan Jr.),

"Mr. Pinky" (Hairspray).

If all the world is a stage,

can you imagine what Heaven is like

with Rowan up there?