Another year comes to a close tonight. Another year since Rowan went to heaven too. To be honest...I didn't think I would make it 2 minutes past his death, let alone 2 years. Without Rowan's life messages, I don't think I would have. But Rowan taught me more in his short 10 years than I have ever learned the rest of my years combined, and more than I likely ever will.
Rowan taught me to "love my life", to "make the good". He knew he would "be fine- either way". He cared more about others than he ever worried about himself. He had nothing but love, light, faith and "hope" in his heart, in ALL situations...even in the end.
When I am at my worst, when I think I feel hopeless (not even a word I like to type, and one I actually refuse to say out-loud), I think about Rowan's messages. I hear his voice in my head, or I watch his videos. I read my old blogs with his amazingly inspirational quotes... and I realize that I have to keep going, that I must, but more importantly...that I can.
If Rowan could do what he did, and the way he did it...so can I. I owe it to him, and to myself, to live my life in the manner that he did. And the world is a better place in the process. That is the very definition of a legacy. His life, and the way he lived it, deserves to be not just remembered, but to be emulated. And if those of us that knew him, loved him, or even just followed his story, do that...his legacy lives on...Rowan's lives on.
I didn't want this year to come to a close without me showing you all some of the ways Rowan's legacy lives on, because of so many of you. You need to know that you continue to make a difference...that you are "making the good" in Rowan's memory, and you are making a difference in the world...a big one!
For starters, thank you to every single one of you who sent me cards, gave me flowers, texted, called, posted or messaged me on Rowan's Heaven date.
It was a difficult day, but you made it better. I can tell you from experience, people who lose a child don't ever want to imagine a world without them, so it helps when others remember their loved one too. It doesn't bring them back, but it helps keep the memory alive. I couldn't possibly begin to list all of you that I'd like to thank for what you did for me on December 15th this year, but know that I appreciated it all. I heard from doctors and nurses from San Antonio to Seattle...people who cared for him as an infant all the way to the doctor who was with us at the very end as he was removed from life support. Rowan's grave was visited by many, from his fellow transplant and Kidd's Kids' friend from Dallas, Christa...
to a fellow angel mom from New Braunfels, who when she arrived, still saw my tear on the plaque at the foot of Rowan's grave... (Love you Marci...ATWTL)…
to the daughter of one of the teachers who worked for me many years ago, and so on.
Many of you sent me pictures of you wearing your Hope t-shirts on December 15th, some people donated blood that day, others volunteered at food banks or children's hospitals in Rowan's memory. This lovely lady helped lay wreaths on the graves of fallen soldiers at Fort Sam, wearing her "Love your life"/Hope shirt...
I can only imagine how happy that made Rowan. He never missed an opportunity to thank a soldier or veteran for their service.
We hosted a holiday arts and crafts event at the hospital again, for the patients and their siblings, and it was so much fun.
However, what I most wanted to reveal to you though, is pictures of the wonderful December donations we were able to give to parents of patients at Methodist Children's Hospital in memory of Rowan, from the Amazon Wish List so many of you graciously purchased items from. Look at all of this!
My van was full of gifts for the parents!
Just before I closed the doors, to head to the hospital, I was struck by something... the "smiles" from the Amazon boxes made me smile. Then I realized, that some of those smiles were coming from "Rowan's seat" in my van...it was so poignant, because I just knew he was smiling down on us, so happy that instead of being sad at that moment, we chose to "make the good" for others. It was perfect. So perfect, I decided to strap those particular boxes into the seat belt, into Rowan's seat belt...so I did.
This sight made me smile even more:)
The Child Life Staff was thrilled about the donations, and so grateful. The kids are usually taken care of during the holidays, but not always the parents staying with them. But see, Rowan thought of the parents all the time. He thought of me, all the time. He would LOVE that we blessed the parents this Christmas too!
Child Life actually facetimed me a few days later and they were so joyful, excited to tell me that it had been one of the most successful events they had ever done. They put all of the gifts out like a store, for the kids to come out of their rooms with their parents to "shop" for presents for their parents staying with them. How special.
Thank you all. YOU did that. You helped Rowan's legacy live on, and in the process, you made the world a little better. We can't thank you enough.
One last picture... this is the Music Therapist from Seattle Children's Hospital.
She spent countless hours singing, playing drums, ukulele, etc. with Rowan. He LOVED his time with her... he LOVED her! You also helped us gift her with an electronic KORG wave drum set for the music therapy program there at SCH this December in memory of Rowan's angel-versary. This drum set has hundreds and hundreds of amazing sounds and is completely portable. Her thank you note told me just how much the patients are loving it, and how much Rowan would have approved of these special drums. (*Kathleen and crew- an extra special thank you!)
So, as 2018 closes, I just want to thank you all for helping us continue Rowan's legacy. Thank you for continuing to make the good in sooooo many ways. Please never stop letting me know how you are. It blesses my soul, and keeps me going.
May you "Love your life" in 2019, and never stop making the good in this world... ever.
May you create legacies of your own, that make the world a better place... always.
Love, Rowan
& his Mommy, Carrie
