"I can finally sleep now Mommy!"

Today was a big day in Rowan's healing process...his hearing aid came in!  He lost his hearing a little over a month ago, presumably to ototoxicity from Gentamycin. It was a very scary time for him, but he was so strong through it.  Then, over the past few weeks, he regained a decent amount of hearing on the right side, but his left ear did not recover.  It has continued to cause him anxiety, stress, and many tears.  After repeat testing showed that he still had severe hearing loss on the left side (from 250-8000 Hz), he was molded for a hearing aid.  He cried happy tears the day they came to mold him for it, and he cried happy tears today when they came to fit it and train us on it.  I am crying happy tears now, as think back on how far he has come from those very dark days of zero hearing at all. So thankful. So grateful.

The audiologist brought the hearing device in with all the accessories and tools, and did about an hour of training with Rowan and I this morning.

She let Rowan see it... 

and feel it...

and then he tried it on...

She had him reach back and feel it, once it was in his ear as well...

and then he learned how to adjust the volume...

The audiologist attached a special long tube, that had an adapter at the end of it, to the end of Rowan's hearing aid.  I was then able to place that end in my own ear, which allowed me to listen to how well his hearing aid was working.  It helped me hear how he would hear things, but it will also help me know if it is ever crackling or cutting out, or malfunctioning.  The aid defaults to just 50% hearing at first, then Rowan can adjust it up or down as he desires.  It will only go up to 90% max for now though, not 100%.  The reason for these settings is so Rowan does not get overwhelmed at first.  After I listened with the aid at just his 50% settings, I was blown away.  It was sooooooo loud...for me.  I could never imagine being able to turn it up at all.  But the the audiologist explained that it is just loud for me, because Rowan's hearing loss is that severe.  For him, she explained, that only gets him half way to normal hearing.  Crazy.

As she expected, he turned it down from the initial 50% at first, asking us, "how long am I going to hear all that noise?"  And then we realized, the noise he was talking about was just the whir of all the machines in his ICU room.  It must be so overwhelming to go from hearing "nothing" out of one ear for weeks, to suddenly hearing even 50% of an active ICU room... one that has iv pumps, monitors, dialysis, etc. running.  Eventually, he turned it back up to abut 50% and was so happy to be able to finally hear us, pretty well, from both sides of the room.  He will begin to turn it up even more, they say, as he gets used to the sounds again...as he is ready to hear better, and hear more.

But the most satisfaction I think he got, is that he felt comfortable going to sleep for the first time in a very long time.  Since losing his hearing, he has been very afraid of "nighttime", crying off and on throughout the night, waking often, moaning "I just want it to be daytime", etc.  He has explained to us that he has been nervous because he can't see OR hear at night.

Well, now he can...

...and best of all, he asked me "can I please have one of my eye masks?"  He hasn't been able to wear an eye mask since he lost his hearing, because he has said, "then I feel like I have no senses at all". (Prior to the hearing loss, he wore one every night for weeks here in the hospital)

Looking at him sleeping peacefully...

sleeping with his eyes covered...

sleeping because he can hear out of both ears now,

since he is no longer fearful of the nighttime in ICU...

that is not just big...

it is HUGE!

So thankful.

So grateful.