"Our Little Trooper"

"Our Little Trooper"
"Let me live, that I may praise you!" Psalm 119:175

Friday, March 13, 2015

"This is what Jalene's angel looked like Mommy..."

This is what Jalene's angel looked like Mommy...



After yesterday's post, one of Jalene's dearest, closest relatives asked me if I thought Rowan would be able to draw the angel that he saw hovering over Jalene's body last night.  I asked Rowan, and he said "I'm not that good of a drawer, but I can try."  I mentally reminded myself, not to prompt Rowan or influence him at all while he was drawing.  I wanted this to be an honest, organic, true depiction of his vision.  He climbed up on the table and sat criss-cross applesauce.  Normally, I would never let him sit on the table, but he looked so ready and excited to draw this picture, I just couldn't bring myself to change a thing.  





I asked him simple, non-leading questions like "What was her angel wearing?" and "Ok, what color was the dress?".  Since he had already mentioned that she had hair though, I accidentally asked him, "Was her hair long and flowy?" (because in my mind that's how I envisioned angels).  Rowan immediately told me, "Mom, stop it, I got this.  Her hair was short!  It was like just down around her ears, and it was really dark."  I resisted the urge to make him draw it longer.  The funny thing is, neither Rowan or I have ever known or seen Jalene while she had hair...not even in a picture.  We only knew her during treatment and after.  But, Rowan was adamant that her hair was short and dark, so that is how he drew it.








Rowan took such pride in drawing this picture.  He didn't want me interrupting him at all.  He was focused, determined, and confident in his drawing.  In the end he said, "Yep, that's her. That's Jalene's angel. That's what I saw."  



And in the end...he blew it a kiss, just like he blew Jalene a final kiss last night. 


He explained things in detail to me.  She was definitely barefooted.  She was wearing a dress.  He worked long and hard on her mouth because he said, "She has the prettiest lips, they were big and bright and pink."  After he reworked them a few times, he said "Yeah, like this."  He told me it was hard to explain the light.  I asked why and he said, "Well, she was a little fuzzy, but bright at the same time, and if you drew a line all around her a couple inches it was even brighter, like glowing everywhere close to her."  Then he told me, "Oh, and her wings fit her".  I asked what he meant by that, and he told me, "Not like when they show huge feather wings that are bigger than an angels body, her wings were her size."

You have no idea the emotions going through my mind.  Pride and joy at the faith and surety my son was expressing.  Sadness and heartbreak that he was actually having  to draw his little friend in her next life. And a little shock and awe, I have to admit.  It isn't every day that you watch your child draw something that only they saw.  It was surreal, but I did my best to just let him express himself freely, and explain it in his own words.

Afterwards, I asked if I could send the drawing to Roxi.  Rowan said, "No, I need to make it colorful.  It won't look right without all it's colors".  He needed a break, so I let him have it.  He has his own health issues that plague him, and he wasn't feeling well enough to continue at that time.  It made me realize that I can only imagine how emotionally taxing this must be on him too, whether he shows it or not, so I told him to rest for a little bit.

My curiosity was killing me though, especially about the hair.  Me, being a very OCD, controlling type person (yes, I can admit it:), still felt like it would look more angelic and girly if she had long hair, but he was so adamant, so sure, that I just had to know if what he saw reflected what she actually looked like with hair.  I believe what he says he saw, he believes he saw, and I actually also believe he saw it, but I still had to know.  I messaged her relative, and asked for a photograph of Jalene with hair.  This is where it gets even more real.  In the photo Roxi sent me (before her brain cancer treatment started), Jalene's hair was of course, exactly as Rowan said...short, around her ears and dark. How can you NOT believe that this child, my son, saw the actual angel of his sweet friend Jalene?!



Rowan did end up painting the picture after a little while.  And again, he was very specific about which colors he needed.  He kept saying things like, "Yes, this was it" or "Mom, were you not paying attention in the room?" or "No, brighter yellow!".     









After he finally finished, he was so content with the picture that he drew and painted.



I hope the pictures adequately depict the story I am trying to tell.  It is one of pure faith and love in the middle of sheer devastation.  It is about child like faith, and the angels among us.  

God bless you sweet Jalene! So grateful Rowan was able to see you one last time on Earth, and see what you will look like in Heaven as well.  What a miracle you are!



P.S.
(By the way, Rowan wanted me to point out the aura around Jalene's angel he was drawing here in this picture.  He noticed it when I uploaded the pictures and said, "Mom, the light was like that...like all around her, wrapping her up.")




23 comments:

  1. Rowan is a such a darling boy. He's given a new meaning to the word BELIEVE! God bless him always....prayers for Jalene & Rowan

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  2. this goes this show that angles are always with us

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  3. Very Beautiful .... if only we all could have the faith of a child... GOD Bless u Rowan ♡ God gave u a very special gift

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  4. Simply beautiful! Thanks for sharing! I hope you frame that photo for her family :-D God bless!

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  5. Wow! My heart is full of emotion I can't even express. Your son is beautiful, his eagerness to get it just as he saw it is beyond words. I'm taken back by his experience. I am really at a loss for words.

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  6. Please have prints made of this drawing. I would love to purchase one. If you need help on how to go about that, please contact me. I know many people that can help with this. You can use the proceeds to help Rowan on his journey or Jalene. Rowan is an artist, a visionary and a messenger of God. He is blessed with devine visions. I can be reached at 210-849-3628.

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  7. Absolutely amazing!! We serve an awesome god :-)

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  8. I truly believe that children can see angel because thry are aangels. ..
    Rowan thank you!
    You are a blessing

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  9. Oh! that story so beautiful, I will mourn! Rowan thanks for loving Jalene! eternal kisses! Hugs from Berlin Germany.

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  10. Amazing. TY so much for letting us be part of this. You should have copies made and sell them for Jalene and Rowan's expenses. Maybe put this story on the back.

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  11. I have to disagree with Rowan on one thing! He said that he is not a good drawer........He is an EXCELLENT drawer!!! God Bless you Rowan! And Jalene...........sigh

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  12. Sweet, sweet Rowan....so sick and still feels compelled to draw the angel, as he "knows" no one else saw the angel. God bless these children.

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  13. What a wonderful child he is and Jelene they are stronger then most adults and see more then most people Bless them and hope their lifes after this is so much better :)

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  14. I've read 2 of your other blogs and really liked them... this one though is hard to believe this young of a boy could do so much detail on the face. And tell you to stop the car and explain aura to you....
    I pray for Jolene. Pray soon you will no longer be on pain.

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    1. I am not sure if you are suggesting that I lied here or made this up? If so, you don't have to believe it, if you choose not to, but I can promise you...everything written here is true and everything drawn in that picture was drawn by Rowan. He is 8 years old, very smart, a very good artist (it's one of his favorite things to do) and very in touch with God. As for explaining aura, he was simply explaining what he saw around Jalene's angel to me. I recanted it word for word. I hope you know, that I have no reason to lie or make these things up. I share exactly what he says in the hopes that it will bless someone else, as it does me. Thank you for the prayers for Jalene. God bless you.

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    2. My prayers to Jalene and Rowans families I believe children do see things we adults can't he's s wonderful artist and he and Jalene will always be in my thoughts and prayers.God bless you
      All

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    3. It's not hard to believe, if a child like Rowan sees something he's not familiar with, to better display his viewings in his drawings. It makes perfect sense that he ask questions. I believe Rowan has a gift. To the non believers....you're truly missing out on a young boy with a beautiful inspirational heart. God Bless Rowan.
      Rest in Heaven Jalene <3

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  15. Out of the mouths of babes.
    I was looking in the visions in my mind as I lay on my bed, and behold, an angelic watcher, a holy one, descended from heaven. ~DANIEL 4:13~

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  16. Rowan is such a wonderful little boy, God bless him. Mom keep believing in Rowan's healing. I declare little Rowan healed from the top of his head to the soles of his feet. Healing is Gods will for little Rowan.

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  18. Carrie,
    Pay no mind. There are always going to be doubting Thomas's.
    Keep spreading God's Love abd being an Advocate for Rowan.
    A SEASONED Pediatric Ventilator Nurse

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  19. My heart soars to hear these stories about my warriors! Love. Hugs. Prayers.

    do you have a fb page to follow?

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