"I don't know what the future's going to be like, but I know it's going to be awesome!"

There are several pictures that I have taken over the past few weeks and months that looked so poignant, so special, I just couldn't bring myself to share them at the time. I wanted to save them.  I wasn't sure why, but I knew they were important. 

Rowan and I were talking just now, about it being day -4, about how many days of chemo had left, how much longer we'd be in the hospital, and how much longer we'd be in Seattle.  He got the sweetest grin on his face and started staring out the window.  

I could tell he was deep in thought, so I asked him what he was thinking.  He said, "I'm so glad we took this chance.  I have a good feeling about it.  I don't know what the future's going to be like, but I know it's going to be awesome! And even if it's that I go to heaven, it was still worth a shot. And what's more awesome than heaven?"

That's when it hit me.  None of us know when we will go.  Most of us try not to think about it.  But Rowan is different.  Don't get me wrong, Rowan absolutely, 100% loves his life, and he loves living it to the fullest.  He doesn't want it to end, but he trusts God so much, that he's not afraid for it to.  He lives each day like that.  He fights so hard, but he never worries.  He trusts.  He simply trusts. He knows that whatever the future holds, whether it's here or in heaven, "it's going to be awesome!"

Either way... he has a lot to look forward to.  And then I realized, that is what those pictures I was saving were for.  They were for this post.  All were depicting him on a path.  Going down the road on his bike, walking down the path at the park, or sailing across the water on the ferry, looking forward...not a worry in the world, because he knows, he trusts...that whatever lies ahead is going to be awesome! No matter what.

I wish we all could have that sense of faith.

  It provides him with so much...

security...

peace...

and hope...

and it's awesome!