"Our Little Trooper"

"Our Little Trooper"
"Let me live, that I may praise you!" Psalm 119:175

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Visiting Jalene's resting place without Rowan for the first time...

Rowan had lots of "special" things he liked to do to remember his angel friends...visiting their resting places on their birthday or on the anniversary of their death was always very important to him.  He typically took bright beautiful balloons, flowers, and sometimes a gift or artwork he had done for their Mommas.  Today was one of those special days, a very special one.  Not only was today 2 years since Jalene passed on March 15, 2015, it was also 3 months since Rowan passed on December 15, 2016.  I knew exactly what Rowan and I would have been doing today if he were still alive...so I did it, without him.

I went to the store and bought some very pretty flowers...yellow and pink ones for Jalene, and orange to represent Rowan.

I also picked out balloons that I thought he would definitely have liked...more pinks, yellows and oranges...with a special one that said: "You are my sunshine!"  I could just see him smiling, and almost feel him picking it out himself for his friend Jalene.

Rowan obviously couldn't draw a picture for Jalene or Jen today himself, but I remembered a special drawing that we had been given in Seattle, just a week or so before Rowan passed.  A young lady, Amelia Rikstad (the daughter of one of the Washington National Guardsman that visited Rowan often in Seattle), did this beautiful piece. 

She was inspired by the blog post I had done about Rowan seeing  (and then painting) Jalene's angel just before she passed.  Amelia even included the yellow glow that Rowan had said he saw around Jalene's angel, as it hovered over her body.  When I pulled this drawing that Amelia did out again today, I couldn't believe the significance...it was Jalene's angel, praying for Rowan, "Hope".  Amelia did not know that Rowan was about to pass when she drew this, but today I realized, it looks like Jalene at Rowan's grave actually.  So very poignant.  So very special.  I took it to make color copies of it, and brought it to Jen, Jalene's Mom today at the cemetery.  I would be visiting Jalene without Rowan for the first time, but I was reminded that they are together in Heaven, taking care of each other.

Jen met me there today, and I was reminded that while we miss our children more than words can express, God brought us together years ago, to help take care of each other while we are separated from our angel babies.  For that, I am forever grateful.

Today was difficult, I'm not going to lie...visiting children's graves always is.  But there was peace and beauty around us as well. 

Thank you Rowan, for helping me pick out the special flowers and balloons.  Thank you Amelia for your most precious artwork, that I already loved, but now Jen will cherish too, I'm sure.  Thank you Jen for joining me today.  Thank you Jalene for being Rowan's angel friend.  Thank you Jesus, for keeping them both in your arms until we get there.

Thank you to all who have followed these precious children, both in life, and still now as angels in heaven.  Please remember both of their life messages:

Jalene: "Love everyone the same!"

Rowan: "Love your life!"


  1. God has both of your babies in His loving arms!

  2. Changed my thoughts and how I view life forever. Two little kids have grown me more than anything else in this life. They were sent to do God's work for sure.
    I started following Rowan the day you both made pies for Jalene. I fell in love with Rowan's heart that day. I could see he was unique and I didnt want to miss anything he said or did, my soul knew he had a lot to teach me. Thank you for sharing, God gave him to you because he knew you would shout and echo Rowans message for years after his work was done. You are an amazing women and mom. Wish we were friends so I could be there to lift you up. Please know I think of you so much Carrie and I still hurt and cry for Rowan. Forever in my heart! May God bless you all-