"Our Little Trooper"

"Our Little Trooper"
"Let me live, that I may praise you!" Psalm 119:175

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Today the numbers changed...

As many of you have now heard, we were told this past week that Rowan's transplant failed.  He rejected my cells.  He has zero immune system, and needs to have another transplant as soon as possible.

To say that my heart nearly stopped in that meeting is an understatement.  I was mad, sad, scared, you name it.  This little boy has fought hard his entire life.  He has so much to offer this world.  This isn't fair.  Not like this.  God isn't done with him yet.  Those are the thoughts that raced through my head.

After I took a shower (mostly just so I could go cry in the bathroom, without Rowan seeing me), I tried to pull myself together and asked Rowan if he was ready to read his devotional.  The title of course made him smile...it was a sign from his angel friend Jalene..."Shake it off!"

It was a poignant reading too.  We do not understand why this is happening.  We wish with all our hearts that it wasn't.  But we trust God.  We know he has a plan for Rowan.  So while our nerves are shot, our hearts racing, we have to just keep putting one foot in front of the other.  We will spend every minute of every day loving on our boy, and helping him fight for his life.  The first one didn't take.  We will shake that off.  We will Rally for Rowan.  We will try again.

Today was Day +50 post-transplant.  We have been in the hospital for 63 days so far.  But today the new plan was given to us.  Today the numbers changed.  We are no longer counting up.  We are now counting down.  Counting down to the second transplant date, October 14th.  That makes today, Day -21. 

Not Day +50...

but Day -21.

Today the numbers changed...but not for God.  He already knew this part.  He already wrote these numbers down.

I woke up at 2 am last night, and immediately fell to my knees, next to Rowan's hospital bed.  Brian had asked me to look up a Bible verse earlier that evening, one the Uber driver had given him on his way from the airport to the hospital.  Psalm 37:5.  I sat on the floor next to Rowan's bed, crying, reading and rereading that verse.  Until I finally decided to go erase the cutesie saying I had written on his sliding glass doors on his first transplant day, nearly 2 months ago...("I asked my Mom to marrow me, she said yes!")

That ship had sailed.  It was time to move forward.  Time to write something new on the glass.

It was time to commit this whole thing to God.

Time to trust in him...

and pray that he WILL do this!

We love you Rowan.  We will be here fighting with you every step of the way, and we trust that God WILL do this.  Your story is not over yet, sweet boy.


  1. You are never far from my thoughts and constantly in my prayers Carrie and Rowan and Brian

  2. KEEP FIGHTING ROWAN! We are all praying knowing JEHOVAH RAFFA will heal you completely. And we will praise Him for the miracle of You. Thank you for teaching us all what it means to be brave and have complete faith!

    Exodus 15:26

    And He said, "If [1] you will give earnest heed to the voice of the LORD your God, and do what is right in His sight, and give ear to [2] His commandments, and keep all His statutes, I [3] will put none of the diseases on you which I have put on the Egyptians; for I, the [4] LORD, am your healer."


  3. You all are the most amazing, spirit filled family I have ever had the privilege to know. God's will may not be known to us, but He has Rowan's plan all mapped out. I was wearing my Rowan shirt the other day. So proud to tell anyone who asks, about this fantastic young man. God bless you all.

  4. Yes!!! God's got this. He is not finished writing your story Rowan.
    You are such an inspiration and have taught so much to so many.
    Our love and prayers are with you always.

  5. You are amazing. God is amazing in you, in Rowan, through you, through Rowan. In our weakness he is strong. I pray for Rowan & I know our God is faithful. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. Thank you for taking the time to share this journey of your super hero son. Keep fighting and putting on the armor of God daily, hourly, minute by minute❤️

  6. I have absolutely no idea what to say. I cannot imagine your fear, hopes, dreams and tribulations. But I follow your story and silently pray for serenity and peace for Rowan, you and your family.

  7. Stay strong little guy! We continue to pray for you!