Day +38: "I'm gonna leave when God is ready for me to leave."

Today is day +38 post transplant for Rowan.  He has now been in the hospital for 51 days straight.  He is over 2000 miles away from home, away from all of his family and friends back in Texas.  He has formed countless relationships with the doctors, nurses, cnas, and the housekeeper, but making friends with other patients is much more difficult.

Rowan has only really met 3 other patients since we got admitted nearly 2 months ago.  One is a year older than him, and two are just a year younger than him.  It's not an easy thing to make friends in a hospital, especially when you are all undergoing transplants.  You are each in your own hospital room, often on isolation, and always dealing with your own intense medical treatments.  The only way you interact is if you both happen to be doing your laps in the hallway, or if you pass by each other's room daily and wave through the door.

Luckily, we have had the opportunity to make friends with three great kids and their parents though.  One special lady was admitted the same day as Rowan, and transplanted the day before him.  She is doing well, and got discharged 2 weeks ago.  They text each other every day.  They talk about an escape plan for him;), start the day reporting their anc to each other, and have plans to get together when Rowan gets out.  She painted him this picture just before she left and it hangs on the wall in his hospital room.

The second friend, walked by Rowan's room every single day multiple times, smiled and waved.  Rowan started out doing a lot of laps during his chemo and conditioning.  He earned 5 footprints for his front door, which signified 5 miles walked.  However, he then got placed on isolation and was unable to leave his room for over 30 days.  His buddy though, had dozens of footprints on his door.  He earned more than anyone here in the unit.  It was quite impressive.  He got admitted just a few days before Rowan did.  He stopped by to say goodbye a week ago, as he was also getting discharged.

Finally, Rowan's third new friend was his next door neighbor.  They rarely could talk to each other, but drew each other pictures and sent them back and forth between their rooms, asking questions of each other, like penpals. 

(yes, I helped a little with this one;)

She started transplant twelve days after Rowan.  They walked two laps together for the first time yesterday.  She got discharged today.  This was her empty room today.

I almost cried as I walked past it this afternoon.  I understand that every one is different, each disease process is different, each protocol is different and each case is different.  But I worried about Rowan.  His last friend here, the third in a row, went home.  I wondered how he would feel.  I worried that he would be sad. 

I was wrong. 

I should have known better...it's Rowan.

I told Rowan (in my best happy voice) that his neighbor got to move to Ronald McDonald today!  He smiled really big, and said "Awesome! And if we get in Ronald McDonald when we got out, then we can see her again."  I asked if he was sad that they had all gotten out already.  He looked at me like I was crazy.  "Why would I be sad? I'm so happy for them!"  I said, "Okay good, I just wanted to make sure you understood and weren't disappointed that you were still here."  He said, "Mom, I'm gonna leave when God is ready for me to leave." Then he explained it further, "Why would I be sad?  What good would that do any of us?  And besides, they're gonna be happy for me when I leave, right?  So I should be happy for them too."

Amen Rowan. 

I am so blessed and feel so honored and proud to have raised a son with such am amazing outlook.  No jealousy, no spite, only love and joy.  He is so happy for his friends, that they are being healed and moving forward, out of the hospital to continue this process outpatient.  Don't get me wrong, he looks forward to joining them, and all four children will be in close vicinity to the hospital for the next 2 months at least, and will all make frequent clinic visits, so he can't wait to see them "on the outside".  But for now, he knows he is where he is supposed to be, that things are on God's timing, and that he will leave...when God is ready for him to leave.