Day +11: "Her name is Jalene, and she is with me!"

Today is Day #11 for Rowan. 11 days ago his counts were zero and he received my stem cells.  The chemo went really well, prior to transplant, but Rowan has hard a hard time of things since then. He has run fevers every day for 9 days at least, some of them getting well over 105 degrees.  He has had a water cooling blanket on his hospital bed for over a week, been packed in ice packs nearly every day, experienced violent rigors when spiking the temps, been delirious at times, and narrowly escaped being transferred to PICU on several occasions. It has not been easy, but it has not been all bad...

Again, today is day 11. 
Well, guess what his returning ANC (absolute neutrophil count) is today??? 

1127...

1127!

Keep in mind, that it typically takes an average of 14 days or more for counts to start returning. Then, they need your ANC to be over 500 for several days in a row in order for them to consider it engraftment.  Rowan is already well over the 500 mark, and we aren't even 2 weeks post transplant yet. This is such exciting news!  They have of course warned us that those counts may drift back down again, or wax and wane, but to have his counts soar that high so quickly, is extraordinary!  It gives us such HOPE that this transplant will be successful.

There is extra special significance to all of this though. And it means so much to Rowan. 

His friend Jalene passed away 17 months ago today.  And since her passing, she has shown herself to her Mom (and to Rowan) in many ways.  One of the ways she gives her Mom signs is through double digit numbers. She was born 10-25-10 (Double 10s).  She passed away on 3-15-15 (Double 15s).  Since her death, her Mom sees these multiple double digits everywhere...at work on her employee badge, on the clock throughout the day, hotel room numbers, etc.  She sees them as signs from Jalene...reminders that she is still with her.

As I mentioned, Rowan has had serious fevers for days in a row.  He often lays curled up in a ball on the bed, grunting and gasping as the fever soars quickly. Thank God we have been able to use the cooling blanket, ice packs and IV Tylenol to get his temperature down each time, but there have been many scary moments.  One such moment, when I thought "he better start turning around now, or we are headed to the PICU", Rowan all of the sudden sat up and said "I need Jalene's bear" and he pointed at her stuffed angel bear which was sitting at the foot of his hospital bed.  I handed it to him and he squeezed it tight.  Moments later he started talking in his sleep.  Now this is not that uncommon, to have delirium with high fevers, but this time it was different.  Rowan said, "Her name is Jalene."  A few moments passed and he said it again, "Her name is Jalene, and she is with me."  I asked him what he was saying.  He was asleep, but I asked anyway.  His answer was the same, but this time he smiled really big, saying proudly, "Her name is Jalene, and she is with me!" 

I didn't know what to think.  He dreams of his friends in heaven often, so I found it sweet that he was dreaming of Jalene again.  But the way he smiled, the way he confidently repeated "she is with me!" just gave me chills.  I grabbed my phone and tried to start recording it, but of course by that point he startet just mumbling and wimpering under his breath.  It was too late.  I didn't get any of it on film.

Here's where it gets even better.  When Rowan woke up about 30 minutes later, it was the very first time his fever had broken in 8 DAYS!  His skin felt cool, his heart rate had come down, his rigors had subsided, and his temp was 98.7.  I was shocked and amazed, and oh so happy.

The next day, Rowan's teeth started chattering, his heart rate increasing, his 02 sats dropping...and I knew, his temp was spiking once again.  This time his nurse told him "Think cool thoughts Rowan, think cool thoughts."  I asked him what cool things he could think of that would help him keep his temperature down.  He immediately smiled, with his eyes closed, and started saying slowly: "Jalene...Frozen...Olaf...Elsa...Anna.  Jalene...Frozen...Olaf...Elsa...Anna."  Once again, his temperature came down.

Day +11,

his ANC = 1127,

17 months to thee day, after her death,

Rowan's friend is still showing herself,

still helping him.

She IS still with him...

that much I am certain of.

Thank you Jalene.

Thank you for giving your Mommy signs.

Thank you for giving Rowan signs.

Thank you for being with him.