Friday, January 1, 2016
When we got home from the hospital tonight, one of the first things we did was to unload all of the suitcases, bags, laundry, medical supplies, and presents from the hospital. As soon as we piled it all up on the dining room table, I took Rowan up to get his bath. He was so ready to relax in the tub. We got all of the monitor leads off of his chest, band-aids off his iv sites, and used adhesive remover to get all the sticky gunk off his arms, legs and chest. Then he just laid back in the bubble bath and said "Ahhhh...priceless." I asked him what was and he said, "Think about everything we just went through! This bath is priceless. Being home is priceless. Being alive is priceless." He told me that he wanted to go talk to Ian and Brian after his bath, to tell them about everything he went through this stay (it was one of his scariest yet). He explained to me that it makes him feel better somehow when he shares it with them. Then we started talking about it all in detail while he soaked, and we added up the numbers as best we could both remember (Rowan loves Math)... and we both said "Wow":
Days Rowan was in ICU 10
Days I slept in a chair 10
Holidays we missed at home 2
Days Rowan didn't eat 10
Number of showers I got in 10 days 3
Labs drawn 20
Chest X-rays 3
CT scans 2
IVs started 6
Rounds of IV antibiotics 49
Antifungal infusions 10
Doses of Lasix 11
Drs. who saw him 9+
Nurses who cared for him 16+
Then we added what we came home to:
Numbers of bags or totes to sort through and put away 24
Number of IV infusions we need to give him every day for the next 7 days 5
Number of broken appliances at home 2 (washer and dryer both went out yesterday)
Loads of laundry that I need to go do at the laundromat this weekend 10
The only days left of Ian's Christmas vacation 2
I told Rowan that we needed to stop, because it started sounding really bad when you think of things like that, when you line item them out, or give them numbers, or add them up. His response was as precious and priceless and perfect as ever. It put me in my place, and put things in perspective, once again. He looked at me sweetly, innocently, kindly, and said: "Mom, this is what I'm talking about. It helps me to add up all the bad, not because I want to focus on it, but because it makes me realize how I can't add up all the good. See, it makes us realize how the rest is priceless...being home, being in a bath tub, washing my hair, seeing Daddy, Ian and Zoe and Max, sleeping in our bed, eating at home, re-doing the holidays together... all that is priceless! That's why I like to talk about it...it helps."
This first 24 hours home, we have big big plans. As a family we are going to celebrate Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Years Eve, New Years Day, all in the first 24 hours home. We will eat our traditional holiday meals, Rowan will open his presents under the tree, we will use firecrackers and noisemakers, build fires, watch our classic holiday movies, etc. We have 10 days and 2 holidays to catch up on, or re-do...together! We let Rowan discuss the numbers, we talked about what he went through, etc. because now, it will help us appreciate the next 24 hours (and beyond) all that much more!
We are praying that you all use the bad this year, to make you appreciate the good. Rowan says you may be able to add up the bad, but he bets you can't add up the good. He knows he can't.
May your 2016 be utterly priceless!