"You shouldn't always have to do everything for me Mommy, so look, I hooked myself up for you tonight!"

This one will be short and sweet. I told Rowan it was time for bed and 10 minutes later after I went up to the bedroom this is what I found...

I asked him what he was doing and he said "You shouldn't always have to do everything for me Mommy, so look, I hooked myself up for you tonight!"

He had turned on his oxygen concentrator, put on his nasal canula oxygen, turned on his pulse-oximeter, put the pulse-ox probe on his toe, connected his g-tube extension and feeding pump and turned on his enteral feeds. All I had left was flushing his central line and hooking up his iv tpn (the only thing he CAN'T and SHOULDN'T try to do himself:-). I was blown away. Such a big helper and such a considerate kid. Thanks Rowan!

"But Mom, then I could face my biggest fear"

Here is Rowan last night having a conversation with me about todays surgical procedure. He asked me if he would be getting anesthesia, and I said yes. Then he said:

"I wish people could fight anesthesia."

When I asked why in the world would he want to do that, his reply was:

"So I can see how strong and brave I really am."

I told him we already know he is very strong, but he insisted:

"But Mom, then I could face my biggest fear."

God bless his big big heart! Sweet dreams Rowan...

Rowan: "I wish I could take care of God"...

Driving home from the GI doctors office last night Rowan said:

"God takes such good care of me but I wish it was the other way around."

When I asked him what he meant he explained:

"You know, when you love someone so much, like you love me, you take care of them, like you take care of me. Well, I love God, but I don't know how to take care of him, and I just really wish I could."

I told him I thought the best way to take care of God was to pray, be good, and be thankful for how well he takes care of us. To which Rowan replied:

"I don't know Mommy. I know a lot about God. And I think I can find a even better way to take care of him. I'll let you know when I figure it out. For now, I'll just try to take care of you, ok? Like, let me carry all my medical bags in when we get home, all by myself, so you don't have to, Ok?"

And he insisted on doing just that... Here he is carrying all of his medical bags (and his DS) from the car to the door for me..."taking care of me". Sweet boy!

"I wish I was a normal kid like Zoe and Ian..."

A couple nights ago, while riding home in the car with Zoe and I, Rowan said "I wish I was a normal kid like Zoe and Ian". When I asked him why he was saying that he said "Well, I don't mind having Shwachman Diamond but I wish I didn't have to be hooked up so much." I told him I was sorry he did too, but asked if he knew how special he was though. He said he did and then he got quiet for a few minutes, before coming up with the following explanation to Zoe and I...

"Ok, I got it, but this is kinda complicated guys... I know God wants me to be sick, but not because he is being mean to me or wants to hurt me or anything. He needs me to be this way so I can be strong and brave for other people, right? And, it's not like I want to be sick, but I guess I kinda do, because I need to be that way to show other people how to be brave and strong too. And if I didn't show them how to do that, then they would have to do it all on their own. So that is why I have to be sick, right? I guess it is all ok and it does make sense...and I guess God's plan IS my plan too!"

Once again, pretty wise words for a 5 year old...and he figured it all out on his own, Zoe and I just listened in amazement.