Jalene's 8th birthday was on October 25th. Rowan would tell us that she was still 4 in Heaven though (so her Mommy doesn't miss anything). Rowan joined Jalene in Heaven less than 2 years after she passed. It is one of my great sources of comfort, knowing that they are together again now...this time, neither of them is sick though, and they don't have to just play in the hospital art room, or watch each other fade. I can only imagine the colors they are creating with their artwork now.
I was not able to make it in to San Antonio on Jalene's birthday this year, so I went to Rowan's graveside in New Braunfels instead. I figured, they are together in Heaven, so maybe sitting at his would make me feel closer to her as well. I journaled to Rowan, and then wrote Jalene a birthday card. It had the most beautiful butterfly on it. It reminded me of the handprint butterfly that I helped Rowan and Jalene make in her home, just days before she went to heaven.
I also brought two special rocks that I had just purchased. One said "Hope" and the other said "Courage". If you know Jalene and Rowan's stories, then you know that The Guardians of the Children, Von Ormy Chapter adopted Jalene before she passed. They gave her a vest with the name "Courage" on it. They asked Rowan, way back then what his name would be if he was a Lil Guardian too and he said "If Jalene is Courage, then I want to be Hope". The GOC made that come true for Rowan before he left for transplant. He even wore his Lil Guardians vest, with the patch "Hope" on it during his first transplant. It is something that Jen and I cherish, the memories of our little fighters, Courage and Hope.
I brought orange and pink roses to represent Jalene and Rowan. We all know Rowan loved orange, but he also loved pink (wearing his pink shorty shorts every Sunday at home and in the hospital). Jalene also woke from a sleep once, when she was home on Hospice care, waved her hand in the air and said "make it all pink".
Once I was finally able to make it to Jalene's grave last week, I met her Mom and her little brother there. I arrived first, so I sat there for a while talking to Jalene, reading her the card, praying over the rocks, and just listening to the breeze.
(this laminated picture of Rowan and Jalene has been here, outside, for almost 2 years, and its still as good as new)
(there was the sweetest little fabric butterfly stuck in the ground too:)
In the corner of my eye I kept seeing leaves fall. It was so peaceful. Then I noticed that there was one leaf, orange and heart shaped of course, that seemed to be hanging out mid air. It was dancing in the wind, like a butterfly. I thought my mind was playing tricks on me, or that I was day dreaming, but the more I stared at it, the more I realized... it was dangling, dancing, several feet from the ground, but also several feet down from the branches. I took pictures, and then I video taped it. It was Rowan, I knew it. Showing me that he was there with me too. This leaf stayed there for an hour...and Jalene's little brother and I eventually figured out that a single spider web thread was holding it suspended in air. So yes, there was a reason it wasn't dropping to the ground like the rest, but when is the last time you saw something like that...a single leaf dangling from a spider web, dancing in the wind at your angel's angel friend's grave. I still believe it was Rowan, showing me that he and Jalene were dancing and twirling with joy in heaven.
We spent a little time together there...remembering Jalene, Joshua playing with the rocks, Jen reading Jalene's card, and me giving Jen some flip flops I had made with one of Jalene's famous sayings: "Love everyone the same!"
Before leaving, I got some donations for the hospital out of my trunk for Jalene's birthday fundraiser that her Mom hosts each year. Her brother jumped in the back of the trunk to check things out and he found my cemetery bag, the bag that I take with me to Rowan's grave each week. It had my journal, a sketchbook, Lisa Krantz's newspaper story in the Express News, bubbles, etc. He honed in on the bubble right away, and I told him to help himself. He waved it around and around. It was so cute. Of course two big bubbles danced around together for a while with Josh chasing them...no coincidence:)
Jalene, Rowan...Courage, Hope... know that you are loved and missed deeply...
Rowan, this may be where I go to "sit and talk with you" for now...
and Jalene, this may be where I go to "sit and talk with you" for now...
But I know where you both truly are...
Fly high, dance in the wind, flutter your wings,
make the most beautiful heavenly art ever...
and keep painting that sky pink and orange for us,
along with all your other angel friends.
Happy Birthday Jalene!
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