Part 8: "Zoe's memorial speech"

While helping me plan Rowan's memorial service, Zoe told me that she wanted to speak.  I asked her if she was sure, and she said, "I'm gonna try".  I knew how much she loved her brother, and how very close they were, but I had no idea just how beautifully strong her words were going to be.  It ended up being one of the most poignant, perfect moments in the service.

She didn't share with me what she thinking of saying...not once.  I would ask every couple of days, are you sure you still want to get up there Zoe?  She would always say yes, but when I asked what she was going to talk about, she always responded with "I'm not sure yet".  And I mean, even up to the night before!  On the way to the Church, the morning of his service, as a bunch of us were going there early to set up and decorate, Zoe sat in the front seat writing her speech.  That's right, on the way to the Church.  That made me a little nervous, but I knew if she spoke from her heart, it would be just fine.  Still, she did not show me what she had just written.

A few minutes before the service started, my sister Jennifer, who had come from Ohio, told me that Zoe wanted her to read her speech.  I said that was fine, that I totally understood.  Heck, I still wasn't sure how I was going to get up there and read mine.

When the time came for Jennifer to read Zoe's letter, the church fell silent once again.  Of course everyone was looking forward to Zoe's words.  They knew how close my children were with one another.  Ian had drawn the beautiful portrait to honor his brother in the program, and Zoe had written down her feelings.  I don't think any of us expected it to be as powerful as it was though.  I have never been prouder of her.  She didn't have to be the one to get up on stage and read them, just the fact that she wrote the following...my heart spilled over.

Great job Zoe.  SO proud of you.

I love you and I miss you Rowan.

I've had 35 days without you...

but you've had 35 days with Jesus...