Sunday, May 1, 2016
Transplant talks from the tub ~Part 3 "I know there's a chance of death..."
The rest of the story...
Rowan knows the risks associated with his transplant. He also knows the risk associated with his current health situation. Not because we reinforce it or talk about it all the time...he knows, because he asks. I've mentioned it before, that one of his favorite questions to ask the doctors, or Brian and I, is "so, chance of death?". It's not that he fixates on that, or that it consumes him, it's just that he is very aware of his health and his body, and very mature for his age. Knowing the risks doesn't seem to worry him though...it actually seems to motivate him, and make him have a greater appreciation for the life he has. This was all evidenced by the end of our conversation when he was in the tub the other night.
Rowan brought this part up, by saying "I know there's a chance of death, but it's no more risky than all the times I go to PICU. And at least this time there is a chance that I can be mostly healed. Even if I die, at least I tried, and at least I have a chance to be healed...either way."
(As I choked back tears, and tried to keep my composure) I asked him if that scared him at all, and he said, "No. I mean, I'm a little afraid to leave Earth, but if I did pass away, at least I already have friends waiting for me up there: like Chrissie, Jalene, Julian, and Harley & Zeke, and so many more...and I could finally meet God and Jesus in person."
He went on to say, "I'm 100% sure I want to get the transplant. Even if there was only a 50/50 chance it would work, there's a 100% chance it won't work...if I don't take the chance. And with God, I feel like it's a 100% chance I will make it through this. I'd rather take the chance of it working, and the risk of not working...even if there's a chance of death...because I trust my life with God."
I am so proud of the young man he is, and the unbelievable faith he has. I learn from him daily and he makes me stronger all the time. Rowan asked if he could say a prayer at the end of our conversation.
He prayed for God to heal him, and to help us all get through this, so we could show other people how to have faith too. That prayer amazed me for many reasons, but one of the biggest reasons is that he basically prayed the life verse I chose for him over 8 years ago, the verse so many of us wear on our wrist, on his Rally for Rowan bracelets...just in his own words.
"Let me live, that I may praise you." Psalm 119:175