"Our Little Trooper"

"Our Little Trooper"
"Let me live, that I may praise you!" Psalm 119:175

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

"I can do this, I can..."

Through all the pain Rowan has been enduring over the past few months with these headaches, neck pain and other neurological issues caused by his Chiari, he told us what was hurting, described his symptoms in detail, but never, not once, actually complained or asked "why me?". He is just 6 years old. We would understand it, even expect it from someone his age, experiencing his level of pain. Then, over a week straight in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit, two neurosurgeries within 6 days, anesthesia, post-op pain and nausea, a ridiculous amount of pain medication, and he still has not once actually complained. Not only has Rowan not complained, let me tell you some of the unbelievably selfless words that have come out of his mouth...
When someone here was telling me that it must be hard for me, sleeping in a chair for a week, being away from the other kids and Brian at home, Rowan looked sad and said "I guess that's really my fault, I'm the one who is needing her to be here with me."
When we had to tell him (multiple times) "Sorry, it's not time for more pain medication yet honey", he simply held his head and neck and said "Ok, I guess I just need to try to heal myself."
Again, when he wasn't allowed more pain medication just yet, but he was obviously hurting, he would squeeze his eyes closed tight and tell us "I can do this, I can".
Every time we try to rotate him to the opposite side of his body on the bed, to prevent stiffness and cramping, you can see him cringe, you can tell he wants to cry out in pain, but he just balls up his fists and grits his teeth and lets us move him, saying "ok, careful, thank you, ok can I lay back down now?"
Those of us who have been in the room when he says things like this are brought to immediate tears, almost brought to our knees. If he can endure such immense pain with so many setbacks and multiple restrictions, how can we really complain about anything in our daily lives? I know I can't. I am humbled and amazed by this kid, day after day, especially in the worst of his days. I hope he inspires you even half as much as he has me. I hope none of us find anything to complain about for a while. I hope we all say "I can do this, I can."


  1. Carrie Rowan is Beautiful! And the bravest child i know! I love following your blogs and hearing his wisdom! And how close to God he is! You and Brain have raised a wonderful youngman thats going to go on to do great things! I can remember u saying once he was in there and was concerned they were with him to long and need to see other children too! Prayers always amy

  2. Rowan is in my prayers. What a truly amazing child. Here I am 43 learning from a precious 6 year old. He is my hero. God bless each of you.