"It won't be long Mommy. Didn't you see her angel?"

Jalene & Rowan's story didn't start ideally, some may say, but it will end well, that I am certain of.  These are two very sick children.  They shared the same hematologist.  The same neurosurgeon did their brain surgeries.  They frequented the same hospital.  They did art therapy in the same art room together at the hospital.  But those are just the facts.  There is so much more to it.  See, Jalene's Journey surpasses the clinic, the hospital, and soon, even this world.  She has been teaching us how to live and is now teaching us how to die, and live again in Heaven...

Tonight, I was on my way to take Jalene's family dinner and I asked Rowan if he wanted to come.  I've been trying to give him the option each time, especially as her health has declined.  He is still so young and I am not sure what he can handle, at least I didn't think I was.  This afternoon, he immediately said "Yes.  One more time.  I need to tell her Mom how strong she is being, and give her the picture I drew, and to tell Jalene goodbye one more time.  And I want to say a prayer with Jalene so she isn't afraid... so she knows God is ready for her."

On the way there Rowan took this picture with his new phone and said "Mommy, look, it's so beautiful! God is opening the door wider for Jalene."

When we got there, Rowan was very excited to take Jalene's Mom the picture he drew last night.  On the way in he said, "I hope this makes her happy.  She deserves it."

Once inside, I'm sure I cannot adequately describe the scene, but I'll try... Jalene's frail, fading, beautiful, silhouette lay in the center of the King size bed, in the middle of the room.  Her Mom sat up in the bed next to her precious daughter.  She was surrounded by 20-30 close family members and friends, in rows of chairs 2-3 deep, in a circle around the room.  Rowan joined Jalene's Mom, in a chair right next to her bed.  I kneeled on the floor next to him, next to her.  Those are the concrete logistics of the scene.  It's the rest I struggle to be able to put in to words...


It was obvious that Jalene was fading.  She already had one collapsed lung, and very little air was moving through the other lung.  Her shallow breaths could only be seen in her tiny tummy, the lungs no longer filling, her chest no longer rising.  Her eyes remained closed.  Thankfully her seizures were finally controlled tonight.  Her pain was managed.  She appeared to just be sleeping peacefully...and oh, how I wished that were true.

Jalene's mother Jen is such a strong, brave, courageous woman.  To be going through what she is going through, and to sit on that bed (to be brutally honest...next to her dying child)...and to calmly, proudly, faithfully tell us all story after story of how unique and special Jalene was...it was simply surreal.  We learned how smart, loving, selfless, and compassionate this little four year old was.  We heard funny stories about Jalene teasing her Grandpa, that made the whole room laugh out loud.  We heard impressive stories of how Jalene knew all her meds and what part of her body they helped.  We heard amazing stories of child-like faith and understanding, that made your heart swell.  We heard humbling stories of how Jalene knew she would only be sick for a little while.  We also heard heartbreaking stories of how she said she wanted to live forever with her siblings.

For her mother to communicate this to all of us in the room tonight, in what could be considered her darkest hour, was nothing short of a miracle.  Her strength was awe-inspiring. It was such a fitting tribute to this little fighter, Jalene.  There was an unimaginable peace in that room tonight though...it is what surprised me the most.  Of course there was sadness...we are all human, but there was more faith, hope, love and peace in the room that anything else.  It was tangible.  You could honestly feel it bouncing off the walls.

Rowan asked if he could say a prayer for Jalene, and Jen told him "Of course, get up on the bed next to her if you want."  What proceeded was one of the purest, most innocent acts of love I have ever seen in my life.  Rowan climbed in to bed with his little friend, folded his hands, bowed his head, closed his eyes and said the sweetest prayer.  He asked God to take her peacefully, to take her to Heaven without anymore pain, to not let her be scared, and to "take good care of her".

In the end Rowan inched up closer to her, whispered his prayers in her ear, and blew her what would surely be his final kiss.  To watch an 8 year old little boy kiss his 4 year old friend goodbye...sounds like an impossible task.  But it was a beautiful, pure innocent, act of faith and friendship.  These kids trust God, they get it, they are not afraid.  See, God used Jalene and her journey to touch Rowan's life, and He was using their connection to bless us all.

There probably wasn't a dry eye in the room, it was heart-wrenching, but again, it wasn't pure sadness...we were witnessing a part of God's plan, and we knew it.  God was showing all of us adults how to have faith like a child.  How to have faith like Jalene & Rowan.

After a couple of priceless, precious hours with Jalene and her family, Rowan and I said our goodbyes.  When we were about to get in the car though, my already priceless, emotional, night came to a sudden, miraculous, awestruck halt...

Rowan said, "It won't be long Mommy. Didn't you see her angel?"  

......silence......

 I didn't know what to say.  

I simply asked him, "What do you mean Rowan?"  He explained (with happy tears in his eyes) that the whole time we were there tonight, he saw her angel hovering over her, smiling and waving at him, and to everyone in the room.  I asked him what the angel looked like.  He said, "Pretty, just like her, and it looked like her, but with wings, and a halo...not like the oranges-like a real halo...and the only difference was that she had her hair again and she was bright with light around her." I told him how special that was that he saw that, and explained that a lot of people never see something like that in their whole life.  He said "It was really cool, and her angel looked happy, she even said something to me."  When I asked him what, he said, "She told me not to be scared or sad, that she was going to a better place, and to please tell her Mom that it'll be ok."  I of course cried tears of joy and appreciation, thanking God for giving this gift of peace to Rowan.  He just kept smiling the whole way home.  He even told me, "I've obviously seen angels in my dreams before, like Chrissie, but this is my first real life awake angel."

Jen, Jalene, and your entire family.  I cannot thank you enough for allowing Rowan and I to join in the private, intimate time with Jalene and your family tonight,  in the sanctity of your home.  I feel blessed beyond measure, and this is obviously a night Rowan will never forget.  Praying for a peaceful transition for your angel Jalene...Rowan's first real life awake angel! An angel none of us will ever forget...certainly not Rowan!